Valentine’s day dilemma

Valentine’s day is an awful holiday regardless of your relationship status. Single folks hate it because they’re made to feel more lonely than usual. With the increase in commercials and Valentine’s related items in stores, it’s hard not to. The holiday is awful for couples, too, because they’re made to feel pressured into doing or giving things to their significant other. There’s a lot of pressure from society telling us to either find a significant other or to spoil the one we do have. It has never made any sense to me. 

A Christian Saint named Valentinus was imprisoned and he sent a letter to a female on the day of his death signed “from your Valentine.” Thus Valentine’s day was born. It didn’t become associated with romantic love until the middle ages, when Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle began expressing love by presenting others with flowers, candies, and greetings cards, which they called “valentines.” I always blamed Hallmark for the holiday, but I guess now I can blame Chaucer. 

I’ve spent the holiday both ways before and I can vouch for those feelings. On the years I spent it without a significant other I didn’t feel included or up to society’s standards. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized how stupid that really was. When I was in a relationship, I always felt like I’d be an awful girlfriend for not making the day ridiculously special for my significant other, and that may just be equally stupid. 

Why does there need to be a day to let our significant others know we care about them? I think that’s what confuses me the most. If you have a significant other they should already know they’re loved and cared about. They should be reminded verbally and by your actions daily. If you don’t have a significant other, there are still people you can let know you care about them, be it your mother, father, or best friend. Unfortunately, though, society can’t make money off of that. 

Nobody loves Valentine’s day more than Hallmark, Hershey’s and flower businesses. I guess I can’t solely blame Chaucer. If they weren’t shoving the holiday down our throats for their own profit, telling us we need to buy mushy cards, tons of sweets, and bouquets of flowers, maybe we could admit how superficial the holiday actually is and forget it even exits. 

Homosexuals and their Right to Adoption

    Children need loving and caring homes. They need families to raise them right and to instill them with the morals they will need to be successful in life. Anyone seeking to adopt children whom meet the criteria should be allowed to take a child home. With the millions of orphan children, the government shouldn’t step in to turn away a family capable of providing love; however, many people are turned away based on their sexual preference. There is no moral or scientific reason for banning homosexuals from adoption. Love is not based on only man and woman, love comes in different forms, homosexuality being one. Banning them from adopting is taking a chance for love away from a child.

    Children being raised by homosexuals are raised no differently than children of heterosexual parents; the only difference is they have to mothers or two fathers. This doesn’t make an unstable home or deprive children of their needs. Homosexuals aren’t any less intelligent, they are just as loving and capable of running a household with a child. Studies conducted by the APA council suggest that lesbian mothers’ and gay fathers’ are equal, if not superior, to the capability of heterosexuals in raising a child. The APA’s research also showed homosexual parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children. These are environments meeting the adoption standards; however, governments turn them down. Homosexuals love, work, and provide just as any proper heterosexual family does. Therefore banning them from adopting children is a form of hate. 

    One issue with the public and a reason for banning homosexual adoption is the fear that children living with homosexual families are more likely to be sexually abused than children living with heterosexuals. More than 70% of the population surveyed in 1970 agreed that homosexuals are more likely than heterosexuals to get “too involved” with their children. Because of the fact these individuals are homosexuals, the public believes they have psychological problems and aren’t fit for handling children. In 1987, Dr. Stephen Rubin conducted a 10-state survey, studying 199 cases of child abuse. Of those, 122 heterosexual males and 14 heterosexual families had sexually abused children. 59 homosexual males and 4 female homosexuals had abused children. Showing only 32% of child molestation cases involved homosexuals. Another survey done in 1999 showed that 19% of heterosexual men and 10% of heterosexual women believed children living in homosexual homes were being sexually abused. Because these individuals are homosexuals, they are believe to have something mentally wrong with them, making them unfit parents. 

    Children being raised and gorwing up in homosexual households don’t show any greater incident of homosexuality or gender identity issues than ghildren raised in heterosexual households. Children aren’t influenced in their sexual preferences by their upbringing, or by who they hang around with. Homosexuality is a gene imbedded in you from the moment a child is born. They simply don’t wake up and and decide whether they’d like to be straight or gay. Children with lesbian mothers are less likely to identify themselves as gay or lesbian than children with heterosexual mothers. Therefore, showing children of heterosexual parents are just as likely to be homosexual than children with homosexual parents. More than 90% of adult sons of homosexual fathers in America are heterosexual. Sexual identities are also a trait that develops in the same way among children of lesbian mothers as thye do in children of heterosexual parents. A child with heterosexual parents isn’t less likely to have gender identity issues than children of homosexual parents. Children of lesbian mothers surveyed said they were happy with their gender, and didn’t want to be a member of the opposite sex. Lesbian mothers to sons, as well as heterosexual mothers reported that their children often played with “feminine” toys, such as dolls. Showing that gender identity doesn’t involved the parents, environment, or the superficial things the child is brought up with.

    In 1981 the divorce rate for heterosexual couples was 5.3 divorces per every 1,000 people, showing heterosexual households were unstable. Children being placed for adoption are supposed to go in loving, supporting and stable homes. With the divorce rate so high, children placed in unstable households became more traumatized than they were to begin with. Placing them in a homosexual household that is stable would have been the much easier and the safest choice. Gay and lesbian households are shown to be more stable than this. Studies show lesbian couples parenting awareness skills were much stronger than those of heterosexual couples. Homosexuals relationships with their children are alos more favorable compared to interaction between heterosexual parents and their children. Homosexual parents are just as loving, if not more towards their children. 

    Physical punishment, such as spanking, is a discipline mechanism used in many heterosexual households. 1,200 people surveyed (85%) agreed physical punishment is reasonable punishment for all children. Children whom were placed in orphan ages and are in line for adoption have seen hurt, and have lived their lives not knowing love and happiness. Using physical punishment on these children isn’t right. However, in most homosexual households, very few reported using any type of physical punishment on their children, but instead used positive techniques such as lecture and reassuring. These techniques of punishment are more more ideal for children of these circumstances. Results of multiple studies show that homosexual couples treat their children just as well as any heterosexual couple does, and therefore should have the same adoption rights. 

    Many children only have one parent, if any. So why should a child be turned away from a family and a house full of people who will love them and care for them just because they’re homosexual. A child doesn’t care if their parents are homosexual or heterosexual; children only want to be loved.

Christianity and Greek Mythology

    Religion: a set of believes concerning cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, and often containing morals. Myth: A story where often the forces of nature and soul are personified and have embodied morals (dictionary). Since religion and myth have two different definitions they always regarded two different concepts. However, taking a further look into Christianity-one of the biggest modern day religions- and Greek mythology, the two have just as many similarities as they do differences. These similarities show that modern day Christians have somewhat the same outlook on the world, historical events, and philosophical issues as the ancient Greeks. The Christian bible tells many stories which are similar to the stories that were orally told in Ancient Greece; they’re stories filled with wisdom and morals-all serving the same purpose-to create a general set of guidelines to live by. 

    In the Greek story of creation the Earth is nothing more than a dark void, or Khaos, which is often translated to ‘chaos’. Khaos was the lower atmosphere which surrounded the Earth. This Khaos gave birth to the Gods: Gaia: the Earth, Tartaros: the Underworld, Eros: love and sex, Erebus: darkness, Aither: light, Hemera: day, and Nyx: night. This Khaos in Greek mythology is equivalent to Christianity’s God because he invented the same things with the exception of an underworld. God then went on to create Adam and Eve and they eventually went on to reproduce. Adam and Eve’s reproduction can be compared to the Greek Eros. However, unlike Khaos, God is not a void of nothingness, but the beginning of all things. God also remained the ruler of the entire world in the biblical stories, while Khaos was displaced by several gods and goddesses in years to come (Hesiod 2-3). Both creation stories agree that Earth began from a void, and that it gave birth to what is now our Earth. 

    In both Greek myth and Christianity there are downfalls in man’s relationship with God and Zeus, who was later the chief God of the ancient Greeks. Both falls in the relationships stemmed from deceit, trickery, and temptation. IN the Greek myth, Pandora is given a jar by Zeus, and told to never open it. She grows curious and eventually peeks inside it. The jar contained all the evils of mankind (Regula). Pandora opening the jar causes everyone on Earth to suffer. The Christian parallel to Pandora is the story of Adam and Even. In the Christian version, Adam and Eve are told by God not to touch any of the fruit on the tree of knowledge. Eve eventually fell victim to the temptation of Satan and tastes the forbidden fruit, and she makes Adam taste with her (Genesis: Chapter II). In both stories it is woman who causes the fall from the Gods. Although they played different rolls in the fall of man, the women eventually bear the blame for all human suffering and sorrow. 

     In both the ancient Greek and Christian accounts of the early world, there exist stories of great floods that destroyed most of humankind (Ashford). In the Bible’s version of the flood, God becomes frustrated with mans’ wickedness. He decides to destroy the Earth with a flood, although it saddens him to do so (Fairchild). God tells one man, Noah, to build an ark  and take with him his family and a pair of every animal and to stay there until the flood passes. God flooded out the entire world until nothing but Noah and everything on the ark was left. In the Greeks version of the story, Zeus becomes angry with mankind and decides to destory them as revenge for their impieties (Tripp). Zeus’ intention was to destory all of mankind. However, Prometheus, who tells his sun, Deucalion, to build an ark so he and his wife could escape Zeus’ wrath, thwarts Zeus’ attempt. In the Greek version, Prometheus assures that mortal life will go on. Although the stories are different in some aspects, the parallels show that both the ancient Greeks and followers of the Christian faith agree that a great flood was a significant event in the early years of the world. As well, they both believe that someone survived the flood by building an ark and living on it until the flood ended, and in doing so continued human life. 

    War is another common characteristic of both the Ancient Greek world and the Biblical world. The Trojan War is a major event in Greek history, and is recorded most famously in Homer’s “Iliad.” The Gods, mainly Zeus, played a major role in the war, althouth Ares, the God of War, and the other Olympians played significant parts in the story (Homer). Wars between Greek city-states were common occurrences, with gods and goddesses almost always involved in them in some way. The Bible also accounts many different stories of war between different countries and religious groups. The war between the Philistines and the Israelites is one of the biggest examples (Philistines Capture the Ark). In this war, God interfered and sent David to save the Israelites. David does so by defeating Goliath, a feat he wouldn’t have been able to do without God’s help. These two examples show the belief from both cultures that war was an important event in the ancient world, and that the gods played very significant roles in the wars. 

    In the Greek myths, Odysseus was a carpenter who went on to lead a life of great suffering trying to get back to his home (Hunter). Odysseus had to hide his true identity when he returned, and rid his house of the many men who were trying to steal his wife. In the Bible, Jesus was a carpenter who also lived a life of great suffering. He arrived at the temple in Jerusalem, saw the sins and greed taking place, and angrily went through destorying the items inside. The Hebrews are thought to be the apple of God’s eye…Jesus was the head of their household. He felt compelled to protect them and keep them from the “wolves in sheep’s clothing.” Both stories have a similar God who feel the same emotions towards their people, and have to suffer through the same tasks to protect them. 

    There were also many prophecies in Greek myth and Biblical stories of the overthrowing of rulers. In both cultures, these prophecies lead to the attempted suppression, or murder, of the assumed overthrower; the attempts of suppression were rarely successful. The Greek god Cronus was told that one of his children would conquer and overthrow him (Rymer). Cronus, not wanting to be overthrown, swallows each of his children as they’re born. However, through deceit and trickery, Cronus’ wife Rhea hid their youngest child Zeus. Zeus grows up to free his brothers and sisters and seizes his father’s power. The Christian version of the same sort of prophecy is directied at Herod, who was king at the time of Jesus’ birth. Herod orders all newborn boys in Bethlehem be killed in at attempt to avoid being overthrown. However, Jesus escapes this fate because his parents ran away to Egypt until Herod died. Both the ancient Greeks and Christians found these prophecies an important part of history. 

    Hades and Satan are another aspect of Greek stories and Christianity that have many parallels but are also quite unique. In the Bible, Satan is the main antagonist. He’s perceived as evil and destructive. In Greek myth, Hades, who reins the underworld, isn’t evil. He was simply sent unwillingly to protect the dead. Hades did show his selfish side when he demanded Persphone to spend a portion of every year with him in Hell. Satan and Hades are similar in the fact that they are both rulers of an underworld, which makes them the keepers of peoples’ souls. This also leads into the views ancient Greeks and modern Christians have on death. The Greeks called the in-between of Heaven and Hell “Asphodel” while the Christians call it “Limbo.” Both have the same meaning. A dead person isn’t good enough for Heaven, but not bad enough for Hell. In both cultures, the rejected spirits to Heaven stay to haunt the living as ghosts. 

    There are many similarities in the emphasis of certain numbers in both Greek myths and Christianity. In Greek myth many things came in threes, most famously the three fates. Cronus was overthrown by three of his sons, Cerberus is a three headed dog, and Scylla was a sea monster with six heads (divisible by three). In the Bible there are the three kings, and the Holy Trinity. Another number, twelve, is similar because there are 12 Gods on Mt. Olympus and 12 disciples of Jesus Christ. These similarities point to the fact that the ancient Greeks and the Christians found truth in the same numbers

    Modern day Christians practice their religion in churches. They often meet to worship God and to be forgiven of their sins so they can be accepted into heaven. Christianity is a religion that preaches of life after death. In the times of ancient Greeks there weren’t any churches, rather, religious cults that met to worship Hades. The attendees of the cult believed in the promise of life after death, and believed ‘praying’ to Hades would liberate their fear of death, and eventually make them immortal. Although Christians pray to God in hopes of living eternally in heaven, the ancient Greeks pictured the same afterlife but instead, they prayed to Hades to avoid death.

    Although religion and mythology are two different things, the parallels between the ancient Greek myth and modern day Christianity are hard to ignore. The Bible stories are quite similar to those of the ancient Greeks. There is a main God, who cares and protects his people. Those Gods will properly protect his people, as well as punish them when needed. Delving into the two topics it is obvious that there are just as many similarities as there are differences. 

Together We’re Invincible

It was nearing the second hour I’d been standing in line. I was one of the lucky people who had a spot indoors. It was one of those frigid days nobody wants by the time March rolls around, but you aren’t surprised when it does because we’re in Michigan. I had already done my fair share of people watching (concerts are the best place to do this. Wal-Mart is the second runner up.) There were three very tall, average-looking men standing in front of me who couldn’t have been older than 25. From what I could hear they drove in from New York just to attend this concert. They seemed like nice enough men, would be pretty decent body guards, but I really hoped they wouldn’t be standing in front of me. I was caught by surprise when a security guard shouted that the gates were about to open, and that everyone with floor tickets would have to find the table with wristbands before they could go into the pit. No sooner had he finished his sentence that the gates open and people started running.

I had been to the Palace of Auburn Hills before, but this was my first concert at the arena. I hadn’t expected that people would start running, nor did I have any idea where they were running to, but I decided in the moment that the safest bet was to follow the three large men that had been standing in front of me. Even if they didn’t know where they were going they would definitely keep people from trampling me to death. They did know where they were going, though, because they led me to a large table set up in the middle of the walkway. I sheepishly handed my ticket over to the woman standing behind the table and in return she gave me a two-page piece of paper. She must have noticed the confused look I had because she laughed and said “it’s a waiver, dear, you’re in the pit and anything could happen.” If I wasn’t nervous before, this is where they set in. I had been to Warped tour before and I swore that was the last time I’d ever get stuck in any crazy pits. I assumed I wouldn’t have that issue at a Muse concert, but signing off the waiver and getting my wristband made me doubt my decision to get floor tickets.
By the time I made it down to the floor it was pretty tightly packed despite the concert not starting for another two hours. I managed to weave my way across the floor to the right side of the stage but once I got there I had nowhere to go. I stood off to the side by myself trying to think of the best way to get to the barrier. A sudden hand on my shoulder snapped me away from my scheming. “Hey, you’re the girl that was behind us the whole time in line, right? My group has some room on the barrier and you could totally fit…unless you want to stay in the middle of the pit.” I was so caught off guard that I couldn’t think of any response other than a massive grin and a squeaky “thanks.” I followed him to the front of the crowd and claimed my spot next to him on the barrier. It was the happiest I had been in a long time and the concert hadn’t even begun.

“So, why are you a Muse fan?” he asked, catching me off guard for what seemed like the billionth time that night. Many people would probably answer “because I like their music” or “because Matt, Dom and Chris are really attractive.”Both of which are extremely accurate but neither are the main reason I’m a fan. I knew the answer to this question was going to take a while, and from my hesitation I’m sure he realized this, too.
If you would have told me more than five years ago that a band consisting of three British men in their mid-thirties would be one of the most important and influential things in my life I would have laughed in disbelief and thought you were somewhat crazy. Nobody can feel so strongly or attached to people that just make music and don’t even know you exist, right? I would have been very, very wrong. You see, when you go through difficult things in life you tend to become attached to the person or thing that helps get you through them.

I started listening to Muse after escaping an abusive relationship, and while I did have people helping me through the repercussions, the music Muse created was the only constant I had. This was the first band I’d found that had a song catering to any emotion I was possibly feeling at any given time and the first band that I could relate to. Whenever I was depressed, angry, or in the middle of an anxiety attack all I needed to do was turn on a Muse album and it was able to calm me down. They were also the band that cured my loneliness. I’ve always been a quirky person, with a love for conspiracy theories and deep space exploration, neither of which are ideal when searching for friends with mutual interests. There were three British men that shared these mutual interests with me, though, so when I was lonely I’d watch interviews. Sometimes they’d make me laugh, sometimes they’d make me cry, but they were always there to cure my loneliness and make me feel less ashamed of my interests.
I was snapped out of my thought process when the lights dimmed and the band went on stage. Hands holding cameras and cell phones shot up and everyone went crazy. They began playing their song “Invincible” (the song that bears the most meaning to me because of the moving lyrics) and I felt like I had run into a brick wall. I instantly began crying. With tears streaming down my face I looked behind me and saw I wasn’t the only one with tears in my eyes and that’s when it hit me.
Being in the front of the crowd, surrounded by thousands people, I realized that I wasn’t alone in my strong feelings towards them (read: obsession). I realized that they mean much more than that to many others. I realized that sometimes, three British men and the music they create can make more of an impact on your life than they, or you, know. I turned to the man standing next to me and said “I’m a fan because they saved my life.” He looked at me, tears in his eyes, too, and nodded. I knew he understood.

Uncertainties

I sat there on the couch and waited with arms and legs folded. Looking from the clock, to my lap, to the door and back to the clock again. All I could hear was the sound of that stupid clock. Tick tock tick tock tick tock. That and my heart pounding out of my chest. Jax usually comes home straight after work unless he stops at a shop or has to work late but this time he stayed out overnight. I tried calling but to no avail. After what seemed like hours I finally heard the familiar sound of the Volvo purring in the driveway. I shot up like a meerkat does when it hears danger approaching. I could hear him whistling “Invincible” by Muse from the driveway. This is funny, because the last time I recall him doing that is when we had sex for the first time in two months.  ”Must be really pleased with himself” I uttered through clenched teeth. I could feel my blood boiling and pulsing through my body. With clenched fists I met him at the door as it swung open. “Where the hell were you last night?” I asked before he had the chance to walk through the threshold. He was wearing the ridiculous multicolored sweater I hate.

He looked at me with a blank face; he was completely nonchalant and aloof. He also didn’t seem to notice the veins in my face and neck protruding from my skin. The last time he witnessed this was when he told me he didn’t want me to go to a family gathering with him because it would be ‘pointless.’ We’re engaged and he tells me joining him at a family party is pointless? He told me “there will be plenty more don’t worry about it, babe.” I was furious.

He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, “Hello, sweetheart, I had to work late, remember?” Oh, the old working late line. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard that line…code for ‘I was out sleeping with someone else.’ Just at that moment I remembered I hadn’t put his laptop back and he seemed to notice, too, because the color drained from his face. On the screen with his Facebook page, the face of a very pretty young brunette smiling back at us with perfect white teeth and gorgeous green eyes. He looked to the screen and back to me; my protruding veins now becoming apparent.

I had first become suspicious of Jax about a month ago when I got a call from my friend Fynn. She was convinced she had seen him at a Starbucks sipping a cappuccino with a young brunette in some shopping center in town. “No, that couldn’t have been Jax,” I had absolutely no doubt in my mind, “he absolutely hates those places. He complains all the time that it’s just an overpriced place for the hipsters to act like pretentious assholes together.” “It was definitely him,” Fynn had said, “I’d know that spiky gelled hairstyle anywhere. No Mistakes.” “I’m sure there are plenty more men in Boston with the same hairstyle, Fynn.” There was a long pause on the line. “Hmm…yeah, actually, I did only see the back of his head. I suppose it could have been someone else.”

Although I felt absolutely convinced that it wasn’t my Jax that Fynn had seen in town that didn’t stop the little voice in the back of my mind from convincing me something wasn’t right. “Did you swing by the shops on the way home, dear?” I had asked him after that conversation with Fynn. I was looking for any hit of hesitation or dishonesty. “I wish! It was an awful day. The systems crashed and I had to spend all night on the phone with IT and had to fix it on my own. Was terribly stressful.” He went on with his rant and I noticed his flushed cheeks and clumsy glasses slide down his face once or twice. How stupid was I to actually doubt him.. there was no way my Jax, adorably goofy hairstyle and terrible fashion sense, would be anything but loyal to me, right?

A month had passed and the cappuccino incident was basically forgotten except for the occasional voice in my head as a little reminder. I was collecting Jax’s dirty clothes which were thrown all over the bedroom floor. It seems that putting his dirty clothes in the hamper, which is two steps away from where they were in a pile on the floor, was too much of a challenge for him. I’ve made a habit of checking all of his pockets before throwing them in the hamper because he’s notorious for leaving anything and everything in there. In one pair of jeans I came across a crumpled up piece of paper and I opened it as my heart sank down to my stomach. It was a receipt for two cappuccinos from Starbucks. I threw the jeans and the receipt down to the floor like it was a hot piece of coal and rested my now shaking legs in the desk chair. It was my Jax that Fynn had seen canoodling with some woman in an establishment he claimed to hate. I wracked my brain-tryhing to think of anything I had done that might have drawn him to someone else. Maybe I wasn’t loving enough? Maybe I didn’t give him the attention he deserves?

It was then while I was sitting at the desk I noticed his little Apple computer. Its shiny cover was like a beacon saying ‘open me! Take a look!’ Normally I’m against snooping, but that little voice in my head chimed in with the computer “what are you waiting for? LOOK!” I obliged, lifted up the screen and logged into Jax’s Facebook. I clicked on his messages and my heart sank back down to my stomach. There was a string of messages from that beautiful young brunette who now had a name: Hadley. She was stunning, with her perfect auburn curls and pearly white teeth she could have easily just stepped out of a L’Oreal commercial. One message in particular caught my eye and hurt like a sharp knife to the heart: “Lovely seeing you again and I’m glad you enjoyed your cappuccino:).”

After he had noticed the computer screen I walked back to the couch and sat down. He somberly shut the door behind him and sat down in a nearby chair. We both sat in silence as I waited for him to explain himself. Finally, after five unbearable minutes, he turned to me. “I think it’s time I told you something….”I took a large, deep breath; a pathetic attempt to brace myself for that pain that was surely about to hit me.

“I…well….I…..”

“Just spit it out already, Jax, Jesus…”
Another long, unbearable pause

“I have a daughter.”

Muse

I want to be the girl you write about
when you’re tired but cannot sleep
because your mind is preoccupied
with thoughts of me.
I want you to write about being in love
with my smile, laugh, and sex appeal
and how it drives you insane.
I want you to write about your past and future
how things have changed for the better
and how, with me,  you want to spend forever.
I want you to write about the things you miss
the most when we’re apart
and how you ache to be together.
I want to know you’re kept up at night writing
about me because I’m your only
Muse.